I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
