The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
