you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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