I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
