I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize