So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize