Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
