i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
