I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
