I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
