See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize