Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
