I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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