I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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