Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
