Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
