You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
