Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
