I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i want to swaddle you in tequila
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
