lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
