Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
