i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
