I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
