What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
