i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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