this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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