O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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