i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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