What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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