Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
