Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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