i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
