ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
