he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
