babies were throwing up all over the place
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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