Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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