yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize