I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
