TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
