I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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