you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
