I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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