Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
