physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
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