Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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