If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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