Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i dont even know how to be here
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
