Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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