My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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