i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
