well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
