Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
