More tranny stories later!
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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