out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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