Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
