This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Enjoy the penises
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
