my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
