Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
