I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
