I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
